If I ever find out these babies weren't really pooping, Pampers, I swear to God I will a) not have kids and b) use Huggies if one happens by accident.

This is a commercial. I'm not going to sugarcoat that. It's a commercial for baby poop wipes from the baby poop products company Pampers. I have no opinion on baby poop products, because I am a childless adult who only deals with sensible, highbrow adult poops. That said, I quite enjoyed this commercial, which was a montage of babies looking very satisfied as they allegedly defecate onto themselves, set to "Thus Spake Zarathustra." I hope you enjoy it as well.

Since it's not presented in Smell-O-Vision, however, I just have to trust that I'm not being lied to by ad men. Don't screw me on this, Pampers. I don't have faith left in many groups of humanity. Don't ruin babies.