What would your child-self think of your adult-self?

Your boss or parents might have judgmental things to say about your current life, but to a child, your adult life is pretty freakin' awesome. Sure, your life might feel like a mess, but ya know what kids love? BEING MESSY.

1) Your Room / Closet Looks Like a Tornado Hit It

And you keep it that way, because no one tells you to clean it. It's messy and you love it. Why? Because it's yours. It makes you feel good to throw your shit on the floor. Like your pants. You want your pants on the floor, and your child-self would happily agree with your choice to be a slob.


2) You Eat Ice-Cream For Breakfast

Your child-self would have sacrificed everything to have ice cream at her discretion. The freedom to eat ice cream whenever you want seems like an option only royalty should have. If she watched you eat ice cream on a particularly lazy and self-indulgent morning, she would know that you are, in fact, a real-life princess.

3) You Stay Up Late And Watch TV

When you were a kid, you probably had a TV limit. You also had a bedtime, which was some bullshit. Your child-self wished she had the freedom to stay up late and watch The Care Bears Movie. Your adult-self actually gets to do that because the amazing 1985 movie is currently streaming on Netflix. Your life is so cool that you can even watch it while writing or doing taxes, because you're a grown-ass lady who knows how to multitask while watching cartoons.


4) You Have a Job With A Hat (Hats Are Awesome)

Adults are impressed by high wages, status, and owning expensive property. You know what kids are impressed by? A job at Subway. Because you get to wear a COOL HAT. Kids love hats. Your child-self particularly loved jobs in the service industry (she pretended to have them all the time) because of the hats. She liked to pretend she was a waitress. Are you a waitress now? Your inner-child would think that was awesome. She would be so jealous you get to write things out on that little pad of paper. She would think that was way more fun than being some "CEO" or whatever your friend is.


5) You Buy That Dumb Thing In That Dumb Store

You spend your money on practical things like rent, but sometimes you wanna waste it on a bunch of knickknacks in the check-out line at Forever 21 (that you def don't need). That parental voice in your head tells you you're frivolous. But you know what? Your child-self reaaaally would have encouraged you to buy that shit. She would have thought that mustache pen was so cool. The fact that you have money in your checking account to buy that mustache pen is SO COOL. BUY IT.


6) You Put On A Lot Of Stupid Make-Up

Remember how fun it was to go through your mom's make-up bag and try on all her lipstick? Well, now, as an adult, there is a magical land you can visit, with every kind of product you can think of. It's called "Sephora." They will let you try on all the make-up in the world, and you can buy crazy things you love and definitely don't need—hair mascara? WTF?—because of #5.

7) You Wear Not-Weather-Appropriate Clothing


Yes, when it's cold out you should wear layers of clothing. But that doesn't mean you have to. Instead of those sensible, warm sweater tights, sometimes ya just wanna wear those sheer tights with red hearts on them. Ok, fine, they do make your butt cold, but you want the dumb tights. Your child-self would never be permitted to go out in flimsy tights or a fall jacket in winter, but now, you call the shots. Your butt may be cold, but you're a boss. You are the boss of your butt.

8) You Can Cross the Street All By Yourself


You may not remember it, but there was a time in your life when you weren't allowed to go anywhere alone. To a kid, the idea of walking around the neighborhood alone sounds supremely adventurous. Take a moment to relive that feeling, and acknowledge that your whole life is like that now. Walking alone unsupervised = badass.

9) You Make It Halloween Every Goddamn Day

When you were little, you had to wait all year to wear a costume. Now, thanks to events like Comic-Con, Brony-Con, theme parades, and theme parties, there are hundreds of excuses for you to play dress up. You can buy costumes year-round and wear them for no reason. Being an adult means you don't need excuses. Put on some cat ears! Go buy some fake fur! Get dressed like a weirdo and go out with your friends. Your child-self would be in awe. She'd look at you and think your life is just one big party. And you know what?


It kinda is.

(all images via Thinkstock)