Welcome to This Week in GOOP, where Gwyneth Paltrow teaches you how to be a better version of yourself, using only her advice and the bank account of an oil tycoon.

Today, though, we're in luck – because the Gwynnie wants nothing more than to teach us to boil an egg. No, seriously. She actually describes the laborious process of boiling water, putting in the egg, letting time pass, and removing said egg. Once you have that mastered, perhaps you'd like the helpful step-by-step she also provides for scrambling an egg.

But if you already learned that watching The Help while summering in the Hamptons, let's move on to a different kind of lesson from “life strategist" (“life coach" is so 2012) Suzannah Galland. She likens our unconscious and subconscious minds to “these great, deep pools of untapped information" and says something about “amazing clarity" that I was too distracted to understand because all I could think about is how Suzannah-with-an-H sounds like “ahhhhh" at the end and how serendipitous that is for a woman who essentially became a high-paid professional hippie.

Sources: GOOP