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Cosmopolitan:

You mistakenly think you're fun and flirty but are actually completely out of touch enough to say things like "I wouldn't call myself a feminist, I just think women should be equal to men!"

Scotch on the rocks:

Still angry about that college professor who hit on you when you took his class, you like to dabble in occasional misandry just for fun. Your favorite t-shirt reads: "I dare you to tell me to smile"