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If you've turned on your TV in the last month, you've probably seen trailers for the Hallmark Channel's made-for-TV movie The Nine Lives of Christmas. According to this brutally honest parody from comedians Kristen Bartlett, Adam Maid, and Jason Gore, it's just "another dumb Christmas movie for your mom to masturbate to." From the romance between two people "who basically look like twins" to "the cat who watches them f*ck," this is the garbage you'll be seeing on Hallmark "every f*cking day this December." In case you didn't guess from those quotes, the audio is NSFW. 

Sources: Bridge & Tunnel Comedy