Nope. Nope. Nope.
Caters TV posted a video of a tour guide in Indonesia kissing a cobra he ran into, and it is exactly as terrifying as it sounds. He uses a metal pole and bamboo stick to distract it for a little bit, bends down, and gives it a big ol' smooch. It then scurries away to tell its snake friends that it has a new admirer. Meanwhile, the tour group was pissing its pants off-camera at the fact that this is the man who is supposed to protect them for the next few days.