I don’t have any DNA test results back yet. That can take weeks. But now that I know Sophie is in no danger of dating a relative, the pressure is off. I’ll get into this momentarily, but, it frankly no longer matters if Luke fathered the children.
I highly, highly doubt my father-in-law is having an affair with Amy. At worst, he might know (or even just suspect) the truth about Amy and Luke. But it’s also possible that he just refuses to believe they would do such a thing.
I’ve been vague about details for privacy, but to put it very simply, Jim and Amy are both pretty white. Cat and Luke are not. Had Jim fathered Amy’s babies, they would look different than they do.
Nevertheless, I do have an update. While a stream of comments have called me spineless and naive, called me a “sister wife” (as an ex Mormon, that hits a particular nerve) and most recently, a stream of comments have said my story is fake (fair enough, it’s the internet, but Luke is not the first scumbag husband to have two families.)
Several other comments have been incredibly kind and supportive and I really appreciate that. Apologies if I haven’t responded to a comment or direct message that you sent. I covered as many as I could but I was literally getting hundreds, so I definitely missed several of them.
First thing’s first. I discussed this in the comments, but our little “team” has (supposedly) recruited my mother in law. I say “supposedly” because Sophie and Tom were going to talk to her about getting help with submitting the DNA test and, at the advice of my lawyer, I am staying out of the process.
Officially, I told Sophie not to do it, and she said she wouldn’t. MIL hasn’t contacted me about it either. (Though we have been in touch, I’ll get into that more in a moment.) The bottom line is that I can honestly say I had no knowledge of any DNA test. Loophole city.
Another bit of good news. I was digging through the paperwork in preparation for my divorce, wanting to get a head start against Luke, and one thing that came to my attention is that my name is on the paperwork for our home. Luke’s name is not.
I was the one who bought the house and we always planned to add Luke onto the paperwork at some point, but we never got around to it and eventually the idea was forgotten.
It was my lawyer, “Paige” who pointed this out to me, and it was like finding a winning lottery ticket on the ground. I don’t know where I’d be without Paige. She’s a dear friend from college who I reached out to, hat in hand, for help. She’s been there for me this past week not just as legal counsel but as a friend I really needed right now.
The thing is, she’s not “our” lawyer, me and Luke. We have our own “family” attorney who has helped us out of jams in the past (we clashed with our HOA a few years ago, not worth getting into right now) but Paige is a lawyer who specializes in family law and has handled divorces before.
Luke remembers her from college and knows she went into law but doesn’t know she’s a divorce attorney. So I can have her over for coffee like we’re “catching up” and he has no idea anything is going on. Turns out, he’s not the only one who can harbor someone under his spouse’s nose under the guise of being a “friend.”
So. Onto the update…
The last time I looked in Luke’s phone was three months ago, around the point Sophie and Tom began to go around claiming they wanted to date. I found nothing. While I know how to search for recently deleted photos and didn’t see any, my comments taught me how to find recently deleted messages.
So, when Luke was asleep, I did just that. Swiped his phone and brought it downstairs, checked recently deleted. I am glad I did but I also wish I had not, because I’m still reeling from the pain. Sure enough, a conversation with Amy had been deleted.
Recent texts talking about the conflict between her and me, with Amy describing me as a “problem” and Luke trying to pacify her - without defending me at all, to be clear. They both alluded to how they had “expected” this for a while and just hoped it would never happen - presumably me accusing them of having an affair.
While the whole conversation and the fact that it was deleted was sketchy, nothing was actually admitted. So I scrolled a bit higher, to a few days before the fight. Amy’s messages got a bit more flirty. Then. I saw it. Five days before I confronted them, Amy had sent Luke a topless pic. A selfie with no shirt or bra.
Guys, I teared up. I knew it was true, I knew it in my bones, but seeing the proof still cut me like a hot knife. (Doesn’t help that Amy’s always had bigger breasts than me.) I exited the messages app and checked Luke’s recently deleted photos. Sure enough, the same selfie was there, and others.
Amy topless, Amy naked, in various poses to show off. There were pictures of the two of them together, cuddled and pressed close like a couple. In some of these, she was naked. In some, they both were. There were videos.
Amy sent Luke a video message of herself topless, and I had to actually hear her voice talking to him in a tone that made me sick, about how she was sending him a quick video to “help him get through the day.” In more than one video, she called him her “boo” and, hearing her call him that, I almost vomited.
Stopped looking at that point, I’d seen enough. For about five minutes anyway, then a strange compulsion to keep searching led me to check Luke’s laptop. I knew enough of his passcodes to access his iCloud storage and…yeah, basically more of the same.
There were letters, long letters between them. I didn’t have the heart to read past the first few lines of one of them, but I did read Luke mention “our children.” There were countless naked/topless selfies of Amy. Selfies of them together. here were se% tapes. Of the two of them. Tom had previously offered to try and hide a camera in Amy’s room, but fuck, he never needed to.
Luke was hiding a whole treasure trove under my nose all along. I scrolled, and scrolled, and scrolled. There were so many. Going back years. Not all of it was even sexual. There were some photos of Amy’s kids, too. One video was of Kaylee and the twins playing together when they were younger, and Luke and Amy’s voices from behind the camera. There were even old pictures of Luke and Amy from when they were younger. I’d even say teenagers.
I snapped. All these years, I had been telling myself I had to be wrong, that it couldn’t be true. Well, it was true. I know that no one forced me to look at as much of the evidence as I did, but I’m still hurting very badly from having seen it and in that moment, I wanted to act, so I did.
I called my lawyer, who is a remarkable woman. It was the middle of the night, so I had to call her twice, and she picked up. Though I had woken her, when I asked her to come by and said it was an emergency, she agreed. I also asked her to draw up the paperwork and have it ready.
She told me that she’d already had it ready since I first reached out to her. As I waited for her, I went through the necessary channels on Luke’s laptop to make sure he wouldn’t be able to remotely disconnect our access to his little stash, changing passwords and all that.
My lawyer (Let’s call her “Paige”) arrived, and I went outside to greet her in the car. Spent a good half hour in the passenger seat just crying, and she was great about that, before I passed her Luke’s phone and his laptop, with all the information she needed to use them.
She warned me that this could be considered theft. So I asked her to forward and print out copies of everything she could and then bring the items back, because I just couldn’t bear to do it myself. She agreed.
I went back inside, and then, I packed up Luke’s things while the house slept. At one point Owen got up to use the bathroom and asked me what I was doing, but I told him I was just cleaning. Luke stirred once or twice while I was in the bedroom but did not wake. I got all of his things packed into trash bags and I loaded up the car.
That’s when I woke him up, and told him to come outside. He was confused and half asleep, but he did notice things were missing. I ignored his questions and just told him to come with me. So he followed me outside. Once we were by the car, I pulled out the divorce papers and officially handed them to him.
That was about when he figured out what I was doing, and he tried to talk me out of it. Tried to be sweet with me, to be tender. He kept insisting that he loved me and that there had never been anything with Amy. Kept trying to persuade me not to tear our family apart.
Even two weeks ago, I might have wilted under him because the manipulation and gaslighting were truly masterclass, but I can see through it now. I didn’t tell him that I knew he was full of shit, I didn’t tell him what I had seen, I just told him we were finished. He tried a different approach. He refused to go.
Stated firmly that our children were his too, and that even if we were separating, I had no right to just decide the kids would stay with me over him. This was where I very coldly presented the paperwork reminding him that the house is in my name, and told him under no circumstances would my kids be staying with Amy.
He argued a while longer, but in the end he decided to be the “bigger person” and “keep the peace.”At that moment I didn’t care where he went. Before he left, he did ask about his phone and laptop, and I waved him off by saying they were in one of the bags. Bought a little time.
I couldn’t sleep for the rest of that night. I cried more. Eventually I realized I’d have to wake my children up early and explain to the extent that I could. Naturally, I woke Sophie first. I told her that I had kicked her father out, and that I had discovered evidence of an affair on his devices.
I did not specify what kind of evidence and she did not ask. I woke up the others and gently told them that their Dad had gone to stay somewhere else for a while. That I wasn’t sure where, but from now on things were going to be different.
Louise was the one to ask if we were getting divorced, and I couldn’t lie to her. I told her yes. Owen asked when they could see their father again and I wanted to cry. Sophie was a very big help, urging her siblings to be sympathetic to me right now and worry about Dad later.
I knew better than to “poison” them against their father (Paige warned me against doing that as well) so I only told Sophie that the affair was confirmed since she had already been in the know. However, as the kids were getting ready for school, Owen approached me and asked me point blank if it was about Amy. If Luke was going to be with her instead of me. I couldn’t answer, but I suppose that’s an answer on its own.
Got the kids to school, and my next step was calling to have the locks changed. I knew Luke would be back for his devices before long, but thankfully Paige returned with them before he showed up again. It was a very quick visit. She just told me that all was accomplished, and she had records of everything we would need in court.
Sure enough, Luke turned up an hour later demanding to know where his laptop and phone were. I had set them back in our bedroom like they had never moved, and I just told him he had forgotten them. He insisted that I had said they were in one of the bags, so I just shrugged him off and told him I “must have been mistaken.”
After he grabbed them, he tried again to reason with me, but I just showed him the door. I knew the kids would start to come home from school before long and I think he was trying to delay leaving so he could see them. I was not having it. I started shouting again and sent him on his way.
I’m still just in absolute pain and despair for what I saw. I don’t know if he’ll realize that anyone went through his devices and made copies of the evidence, or if he suspects I saw anything, but he obviously didn’t say so. After he left, I cried once again.
Talked to my mother in law that night. Apparently Luke did show up to his parents’ house, which was a surprise, as I was so certain he’d stay with Amy. But maybe even he knows how suspicious that would look to the children and doesn’t want to rock the boat as much. Maybe he knows I’m more likely to let my children see their grandmother than Amy at this point, and he wants to see them to give his version of events. That is not happening.
Cat already shared his version with me, that he relayed to her and Jim. That I’m having some kind of mental breakdown, that he wishes he could help me, but my paranoia is causing me to lash out and turn violent. (I was never violent. I shoved him away when he tried to hold me, that is all.)
And what’s so hilarious is that he didn’t mention Amy at ALL to his parents. He didn’t even frame it as me “falsely” believing he was having an affair. Even though that’s his story when talking to ME, he left Amy out of it when talking to his parents. Cat noticed that. She believes me. Jim doesn’t know what to believe anymore. According to Cat, he seemed very, very troubled by what he heard from all sides.
As for Amy, she’s radio silent. Tom has told Sophie that she’s acting like nothing is wrong but is clearly stressed out. That when her children ask, she makes the same sort of claims. That I am having some kind of emotional, nervous breakdown, and pushing her away, as well as Luke. She doesn’t mention anything about my accusing them of an affair, but still puts it all on me.
Amy has not reached out to talk to me directly, and I have not tried talking to her since our big argument. I haven’t really told my kids anything, just that I’m having disagreements with Luke and Amy - though I was very clear that it is NOT a question of my mental health.
Honestly, I think they all kind of know what’s going on. Sophie continues to be my rock, as I try to be for her and the others, and Tom continues to be our spy in the ranks. Right now, my biggest regret is the stress that all of this is causing on the children, which I knew it would, but it still needed to be done. My life has fallen apart. But it was never my life.
In my last post, there were a number of criticisms toward Paige. (You guys will like this update as it turns out, you weren’t the only ones who had a problem with her.)
As far as the deed being in my name, it’s not an absolute hook, line, and sinker, but Paige is convinced that between that and my having been the one paying the mortgage, I stand a very good chance. It could be interpreted as a common marital property, but I’m going for primary custody with supervised visits anyway. I’m playing hardball.
People also questioned whether I should still be posting these, but so long as it’s all anonymous, I am in the clear. Doesn't even matter if someone who knows me could figure out I posted this.
I didn’t use any real names, or reveal my location, or anything like that. As for the laptop, even Paige admitted that was questionable, but technically I gave permission and she was only doing what I could have easily done on my own. I just really didn’t want to go through all of that content.
As far as the divorce papers, Paige had them filled out after the very first time I contacted her. My ‘serving’ them to Luke was ceremonial, she still contacted him later to “officially” serve him and request his lawyer’s details.
But before he could respond, I had already done something a little sneaky. I reached out to our “family” attorney, the one who has always been on call to represent me and Luke during our marriage. (He helped us out of a jam with the HOA a while back.) I’ll call him “Zack.”
Now, contrary to some of the comments’ suggestions, I cannot just go around town consulting with every lawyer in the area, with the explicit purpose of locking my husband out of hiring them. That is bad faith and judges don’t look too kindly on it. However, this was Zack. He had been my attorney (and Luke’s) for years. I feel like I had just as much right to him as Luke did. And I got there first.
So I was able to nail down our family’s lawyer. Met with both him and Paige, and boy howdy, do they not like each other. Zach brought up some of the same problems as some of my comments.
He argued that Paige’s activity was in the “gray” area and urged me to hire him to represent me in the divorce instead. That caused a bit of conflict as Paige is explicitly a “family” attorney and this is her specialization.
So I’m going to be consulting both of them from here on out. Zach actually thinks it’s a good thing that I made these posts as they can’t really do much other than prove my sanity when Luke and Amy try to argue otherwise.
Overall, I am doing better. I’ve been talking to a friend in real life, the mom of one of Sophie’s friends. I also have therapy scheduled for myself, and I intend to look into family therapy as well. When my kids ask me what’s going on, I simply tell them that their father and I are having adult problems and it’s nothing they need to worry about. That worked for about a day.
Sophie warned me they were planning to confront me as a group, and they did, asking if Dad had cheated on me with Amy. Obviously, they’ve been talking about this, and perhaps they have been for longer than I had anticipated.
Perhaps they’ve been wondering. Again, even though I had absolute proof, I was hesitant to tell them as much, and let me explain why. I naturally wouldn’t tell them about the pornographic content I found, I would simply say that I found messages between Luke and Amy revealing their affair.
But, with the exception of Sophie, they wouldn’t be satisfied with that. I already know Carter, curious little sweetheart that he is, would want to see these messages. So instead, when I was asked directly by my kids if their Dad had cheated on me, I simply said “I believe he did, yes.”
With as much sincerity as I could muster. I think they believe me. Tom and Sophie are texting nonstop, and from what I can gather, there’s doubt among Amy’s children as well, that this is about me “losing my mind” and not about their mother being too close to my husband.
I think it’s slowly sinking in for poor Jim that what he didn’t want to believe was possible is very much possible, and it’s happening. I haven’t shown him or Cat any letters or anything. They’re hosting Luke, so I haven’t had much of any contact with them at all. But I did have one phone call with Cat where we wished each other well, that was nice.
In the background, I could hear shouting and though Cat quickly went outside, I did hear what sounded like Jim shouting at Luke. He doesn’t usually shout, he’s the calmest man I’ve ever met, so in a way I’m worried about him but also relieved that the wool is being pulled off of his eyes.
According to Cat, Luke is still staunchly denying everything. He was pretty upset when he found out that I had poached Zach, though. Which gave me a kind of grim satisfaction.
The test results came back! Sophie and Tom tested their DNA against each other to see if they truly are blood siblings. Here’s a surprise - according to the test, they’re not. They don’t share any DNA. To everyone who believed Jim had fathered Amy’s babies, here is definitive proof that he did not, because the test would have revealed that too.
But I never believed it anyway. Sophie has her doubts and wonders if the results weren’t faulty and if we shouldn’t take another test to be absolutely certain, but I’m not really worried about that. More confused than anything. I was so certain Tom had to be Luke’s son. He was too.
Now he doesn’t know what to think and I don’t either. I obviously now know the affair happened and lasted years, and I know from the letters that Kaylee is Luke’s child, or at least both he and Amy seem to believe she is, which confirms they were intimate fifteen years ago. Now I’m just wondering for Tom’s sake. Who, if not Luke, is his father? He does kind of look like Luke, but that might just be coincidence.
In general, everything was quiet for a few days, until it wasn’t. Until she finally showed her face. My “best friend” Amy.
I am so happy I installed ring cameras everywhere as you are about to understand. Sure enough, Amy turned up on my doorstep and asked to talk. She had a relaxed demeanor and did not raise her voice. Assuming she was approaching me on Luke’s behalf, I told her that I wasn’t interested in talking to her and to just go away.
She did not leave, but she didn’t make a scene either. She persisted in telling me we needed to have a conversation. The kids weren’t home, and did have cameras inside - I was also recording her on my phone and being discreet about it - so eventually I relented and let her in. I don’t know if she realized she was on camera. We sat down on the couch, and she instantly got into the reason for her visit.
Turns out, she and Luke know (or suspect) that I procured damning material from his laptop. Amy accused me of going through his devices and told me that anything I found was not my business and I needed to delete it.
That was all she had to say. No apology, no admission of guilt, didn’t take responsibility for her own behavior. Hell, she might have known I was recording her, because she didn’t even directly acknowledge what the “sensitive material” on Luke’s laptop actually was.
So I confronted her, letting out some of my anger. I asked how she could have the nerve to make demands of me. I asked her why she and Luke would do a thing like this in the first place.
Why had they seen fit to spend all these years betraying me? I posed the question that I’d been wondering about for a long time, and as I expected, I got no answer.
Literally, Amy didn’t seem to really hear me even as I confronted her. She seemed like she was stressed. Panicked, even. But she was keeping it under wraps. She ignored my questions and accusations, and just kept telling me to delete whatever content from Luke’s laptop that I had.
She said that if I wanted to divorce Luke, that was my call, but not to “drag her into it.” Oh, that made me so mad. I kept my temper, but I did snap back that she was already very much in it. Amy just kept repeating herself. Telling me to delete whatever I found. So I just refused. I asked her, point blank, why I should. Why did I have any reason to?
Amy got more aggressive, raising her voice. She was trying to intimidate me but I held my ground. She told me that this wasn’t about me, and that I needed to just do as she said. That it was very important. So, I asked again: Why? And yet again, she would not answer. So I asked her if Luke had sent her to do this or if she had shown up on her own.
No answer to that either. It was like talking to a brick wall. So I asked her to leave. Just as I’d been afraid of, she wouldn’t go. She refused to leave until I had deleted everything I’d found “in front of her.” I couldn’t help laughing. I told her no, that wasn’t going to happen.
This is where I could see her starting to freak out more. In another moment, she got up, ran into the other room, and grabbed my laptop. Before I could stop her, she smashed it on the floor. I really don’t know why she thought that would work or get her the outcome she wanted, I think she was just panicking.
Obviously, I still have everything (except now I need to buy a new laptop..) and, sadly, her doing this was out of frame of the camera, but it’s fine. All of my important files are backed up, and at that moment, I was more concerned that Amy would do something else drastic.
She looked like she was going to have a breakdown. I tried again, very calmly, to tell her that she needed to leave or I would call the police. She refused again, and just kept repeating her demand that I drop this whole “cheating” angle and divorce Luke without trying to argue that an affair took place.
At that point I just stared at her. At the woman I had considered one of my dearest friends in all the world. And I told her that I didn’t owe her anything, but she owed her children the truth. That they had the right to know where they came from.
Who Luke really was to them. Amy bristled and told me it was none of my business - that I didn’t understand her family and I needed to back off. She kept going back to this idea that I could divorce Luke, but I must not claim he’d had an affair with her.
I just told her that I didn’t need her permission to handle my divorce how I wanted, and told her again to leave. She got more and more desperate, and her anger accelerated to the point that she physically attacked me.
I did not expect her to actually do this. I’m not much of a fighter but I do know the human body pretty well, and where it’s weakest. She hurt me pretty badly, but I got her off me. That part was very much on camera, and the whole audio was recorded on my phone.
She finally left after that, and I immediately called to file a police report. I had the strangest feeling she’d try something similar and wanted to beat her to the punch. I was able to clean myself up by the time I had to face my kids, and while I downplayed the story, I did not lie to them about why I had a black eye.
I told them, for their own safety, to steer clear of Amy. I also sent the footage to Paige and Zack, as well as pictures of my injured state before I cleaned up. They’ve also printed out the letters that reference Kaylee as Luke’s child.
I really feel like Amy just screwed herself over on all this. I don’t know what her motives were. Was she protecting Luke? Was this his idea? Does she just really not want the world to know she’s a homewrecker, is she covering her own ass? As if people didn’t know already?
The more of my social circle I talk to, and inform of the basics, the more people are confessing that they had wondered in the past if Luke wasn’t cheating on me, but didn’t have any concrete proof. I suppose Amy doesn’t want her kids to know who fathered them, which does line up, but…I’m still not sure about Tom. I didn’t ask Amy about him in particular.
I don't know why you guys are so eager for these updates but I don't mind posting them. I've never blogged about my life before, I'd imagine it feels something like this?
Relevant Comments
OOP on pressing charges
OOP: I included it in my report.
The sound of the laptop breaking is definitely on my phone and should be on the camera as well.
So far as I know, she hasn't been arrested, but I am aiming for a restraining order now.
Has Amy been arrested for assault? Send the recording of the attack
OOP: I sent word to Cat. As far as I know, Amy hasn't been arrested.
Nah, that's evidence, I'm not sending it to anyone without the a-okay from my lawyer.
OOP on if Amy has family around or not
OOP: She's not in contact with her family and hasn't been for many years. They abused her. Luke's family became her family. She never actually admitted to having an affair, actually. I noticed that too.
A lot has happened. I don’t really want to talk about all of it in detail so I’m going to keep this short. I know I never shut up, it’s just how I am, but I’m going to be much more brief this go around.
Luke has a lawyer now. I don’t know him. But he met with Zack and Paige. To everyone saying I should have Amy arrested, I probably could have if I had shown the police the video. Instead, I just sent it to my lawyer. Maybe this makes me foolish, but even now, I think part of me is still trying to protect people I once loved and go easy on them.
But everything’s been on hold for the past few days, because Jim had a heart attack.
I saw Luke and I saw Amy, and Amy’s kids, at the funeral. It was the first time we were all together since before all this happened. Nobody talked about what’s going on, short of Amy briefly apologizing for “what happened” before.
She did seem sincere, I’ll give her that. But I wasn’t about to call her out anyway. Amy, Luke, and Cat all seemed pretty devastated. I was too. But we all agreed not to argue or talk about the divorce and to just let the day be a ceasefire to focus on Jim. Luke and I had a nice conversation about him.
I’ve been spending time with my kids and taking a couple of days off work. I have enough of them on the back burner. Luke also saw the kids, twice, before and after the funeral, with me present.
It went well. At my direction, and Sophie’s, they didn’t mention Amy, and Luke didn’t try anything funny with any of them. I think he does miss them and hate that he can’t see them, thanks to all this.
The kids are also pretty upset about losing Grandpa, on top of not being able to see Dad as much as before. I don’t think any of them blame me but that’s far from the point, frankly. Carter slept in my bed the last three nights.
I’ll get more into this in the future when I have the energy to talk about what’s going on in more detail. But whoever suggested that Cat lied about the test results was correct.
She never sent them in. She confessed as much to me. I guess she didn’t feel comfortable going behind her son’s back…but did feel comfortable lying to me to protect him? Until she didn’t, until she felt guilty, and she came clean.
Under the circumstances, I am not angry with her, but I know better than to trust her anymore. As far as I know, she did not tell Luke about the test. But it means Tom could still be Luke's son. Probably is.
My lawyers finished going through Luke and Amy’s letters with a finer tooth comb. The bottom line is, they definitely found what it was that Amy didn’t want me to see, and I now completely understand why she was so panicked. It has to do with why Amy and Luke didn't marry conventionally.
They did something very bad. But this is genuinely something that I’m not sure I should be talking about, even on an anonymous internet post. I haven’t even been able to collect my feelings about what Amy and Luke have done, especially with everything else going on, so I don’t know if I should be more explicit.
I’m sorry, I know that’s not what anyone wanted to hear, but please try to understand. Paige agreed with me, that when in doubt, don’t post it. I’ve told my lawyers to put a pin in it for now because I’m in no fit state to figure out how to proceed with it or if I should use it against them.
I’m just feeling like shit, honestly. It’s difficult not to blame myself for Jim. I can only imagine Luke and Amy are blaming themselves too. I know they’re bad people. I don’t forgive them.
But this tore them apart as it did me and I think all three of us feel like the divorce stressed Jim out to the point where it may have contributed. He already had heart disease.
And in particular, I blame myself for showing him what I showed him. I showed him "proof" of the affair shortly before he died. I'll be carrying that with me for a very long time, even if I shouldn't.
I’ll update again whenever I do. I’m sorry. I’ll respond to comments as I can.