Couple’s $120K wedding jeopardized when fiancée plans 'self-discovery journey' on the same date. AITA?
"AITA for telling my fiancée she has to attend our wedding?"
shejellybean68
I (M25) have been dating my fiancée Elsbeth for six years, and we have been engaged for two. Our wedding is set for August and has been since 2023. Venue secured, catering nonrefundable, schedules cleared.
Except Elsbeth is now saying she wants to go on a “solo self-discovery trip” through southern Europe, the Baltics, Eastern Asia, the entirety of Africa, and a day or two in Omaha, Nebraska. This would take from early July to late September, and directly interfere with our wedding.
She is begging me to let her go, and says that everyone does this — her friends Kyle, Jerome, Tyrell, Rob, Bradley, and Ethan are also taking individual solo trips through the same countries this summer and she says they inspired her.
I told Elsbeth that this will ruin our wedding, but she told me to hold it without her. She says I can either hire a stand-in to take her place or use an inanimate object, like a pillow or a coat rack. She even offered to email me her vows, though she would use ChatGPT to save time since she’ll be busy “rediscovering her body, spirit, and sexuality.”
I am thinking of letting her go on this trip because Elsbeth is the woman of my dreams. But we also spent $120,000 on this wedding (her idea) and even put down four of our dogs to save up the money to do this (pet food ain’t cheap).
Would I be the one in the wrong if I told her to stay and attend our wedding? My family is mixed — my parents say I should value her wishes, but my grandma is telling me to “put my foot down” and “stop being a coward.”
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
Due_Profile_9792
“solo self-discovery trip” through southern Europe, the Baltics, Eastern Asia, the entirety of Africa, and a day or two in Omaha, Nebraska.
This made me laugh. Beautiful. Just beautiful.
Not_Cleaver
I love the additional detail that her six friends (all guys, not that there’s anything wrong with that) are all taking “individual” trips through the same countries around the same time as her. It does the raise the question, OP when was the last time you inspired her?
shejellybean68 OP responded:
She said I inspired her last affair by not being as attractive as her friend Angus.
hisimpendingbaldness
YTA, no one should be kept from Omaha, EVER.
Codaass
YTA MARRY THE GRANDMA.
Eurasia_Anne_Zahard
YTA YTA YTA! Don't be controlling my dude. You can stay at home and cook dinner for the dogs. To guy working 50hpw and still be single parent because lazy Sahm.
gonnafaceit2022
This is absolutely irrelevant but several states allow proxy weddings where only one of the two have to be present. Montana is the only state that allows a double proxy wedding, where neither party is present. I just happened to learn this on a podcast recently, a couple of people were the stand ins for many proxy weddings in Montana right after 9/11.
NewStatement5103
Let her discover herself, it’s the only way to keep her from banging all of those dudes she mentioned while you’re married. Everyone needs a couple months to do that before getting married.
DangerousSubstance36
Anyone who wants to go to Omaha, Nebraska is not fit to marry. Let Elsbeth go and find yourself a bride who shuns Omaha like a sane person should.